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The Meeting ...

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I was a scared 18-year-old when I gave birth to my 8 lb. 4 oz., healthy, happy and beautiful baby boy.

I had known his biological father only a year before I became pregnant. We broke up the summer before our senior year of high school before I even knew I was pregnant and he was back with the girl he dated before me. He could care less that I was pregnant with his child. I referred to him as the “sperm donor“, because actually, he was nothing more than that.

I never kept secrets from my son and always let him know who his sperm donor was but could never explain to him why the man had abandoned us.

When my son was six years old, I married the man who would give us both his last name. Ironically, they shared first names as well. He was an excellent father and taught my son all the right things he needed to know about life. We knew at some point our son would probably want to meet his sperm donor and that is exactly what he asked for his senior year. So, we made that happen for him.

It didn’t take much for me to track the man down as he was living in Lowndes county, Alabama (and still does). After several telephone calls of speaking with his wife who was reluctant to even give him my messages, we finally made arrangements for a meeting for my son to meet his sperm donor.

Already being a shy young man, I could tell my son was extremely nervous as the day of the meeting arrived. My son, my husband and myself were meeting the sperm donor and his wife at a nearby restaurant. We waited an entire hour and they never showed. Just as we were getting ready to leave they walked through the door.

After the introductions took place we sat down to talk when the wife spoke up and asked us what it was that we wanted from them. I explained to them that we did not want a single thing from either one of them, but that my son merely wanted to meet his biological father and that was our only intention. My son had questions that he wanted answered but she was always the one to answer for her husband. I could see the disappointment in my son‘s face and I literally wanted to choke the life right out of both of them.

As soon as the wife excused herself to the restroom the donor spills the beans to let us know that he had always “wanted and wondered” about my son, how he was doing, what he looked like, etc., but between his mother and his girlfriend who had both forbidden him to have anything to do with me or my son, he was unable to make that happen. I certainly thought that was the biggest pile of crap I had ever heard. He and his wife had three children and their children were never told about my son.He was a weak man. He was a coward whose life was apparently manipulated by two narcissistic women.

In any event, I supported my son’s wishes to meet his sperm donor and as a family we got through it together.

We are very fortunate that he was raised by a man who showed him and told him that he loved him every day and backed it up with actions.

Today my son has two children of his own. He works hard to provide for them and gives them more than they need. He is very present in their lives. He drops what he is doing to be there for his children. He puts his children first and is raising them to be respectful adults.

For so many years I resented the sperm donor for being absent in my sons life. But now I have no resentment at all because if it weren’t for his absence my son may not be the father he is today. So, for that I am thankful and grateful and give our heavenly Father all the glory for hearing my prayers.

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