Boldly Unbroken

I have stood through many winters, but Christmas has always been my favorite season—because that’s when I came alive. I remember the 1970s first, when the walls were young and so were you. Three sisters, one brother, Mom, Dad, and Grandmother—all of you packed inside me like laughter in a gift box waiting to burst open. You didn’t have much, not in the way the world measures things, but my floors never felt poor. They felt rich with excitement. On Christmas Eve you children would run circles around me, whispering plans to catch Santa Claus in the act. I watched you wiggle in your blankets, wide-eyed, too excited to sleep. I could almost feel your heartbeat in the quiet hours before dawn. And then—morning. Daylight barely breaking through the curtains before little footsteps raced across my boards. Stockings filled with candy and fruit, gifts being ripped open, squeals of joy bouncing off my walls. Wrapping paper flying, giggles echoing, the smell of breakfast drifting in from the kitch...

One factual thing about me … I never look at the gas gauge. The only time I think of putting gas in my vehicle is when the gas light and alert goes off. That’s exactly what it’s there for … Just like the alarm clock or timer; a reminder that it’s time to do whatever it is that it needs to be done.    When we go somewhere together, my husband is always asking if there’s gas in my car. (He should rightfully ask, knowing that there’s probably not). He’s warned me numerous times that one day it’s gonna happen; one day I’m gonna ride those fumes home and I’m not gonna have enough time to stop and get gas on the way to my next destination. One day.  So there I was, on a Saturday afternoon, cruising along, singing at top of lungs, arm out the window, bobbing my head back and forth to some questionable 80s pop, completely oblivious to the fact that my car was running on fumes and good intentions. My destination? The nail parlor, about 12 miles away.  Suddenly, I felt a sputt...

  You know that sinking feeling? The one where you emerge from a store, laden with bags (or, in my case, five sugar-fueled grandchildren), and you stare out at a sea of identical metal boxes, none of them yours? Yeah, that was my personal hell for years. My superpower, (one of them, at least), was forgetting where I parked the nanosecond I step away from my car. The true turning point, was quite a few years ago when my grandchildren forever cemented my reputation as "Nana Who Loses the Car," happened at Walmart. Imagine: five small humans, each with their own unique brand of post-shopping fatigue and a desperate need to pee, nap or eat, wandering aimlessly with me through acres of asphalt. We looked like a lost expedition, complete with complaints echoing off the distant fluorescent lights. "Nana, is it that one? No, that's not our white one!" "Are we ever going to find it?" The shame, people, the sheer, unadulterated shame. We eventually located my hu...

Thursday, February 16, 2023, will be a night forever stuck in my head. It had been cold that day; the aches and pains of fibromyalgia and arthritis had been tormenting me all day. I couldn’t wait to get home and curl up in front of a fire and do nothing for the rest of the evening. Kevin, my boyfriend, had come by the shop to get his haircut that afternoon. He told me he bought me a new pistol because he didn’t like the one I had. It was an old Charter Arms .38. The trigger was a little stubborn, for sure and the site was certainly off. I consider myself to be a little “sideways“ most of the time anyways, so if the pistol was a little off, no big deal but good thing I never had to use it! I was just super impressed that he was concerned enough about me and my safety to even purchase something that significant for me. After all, we had only been dating just over 10 months. I arrived to his house about 6:30 PM. He greeted me and led me to the kitchen where my surprise awaited me. He was ...

  April 20, 2023 I received a Facebook friend request from someone I haven’t seen in over 20 years.  April 21, 2023 I received a message from him via Facebook messenger. It literally took my breath away. I sat down to read it over and over again. Just the kind words he wrote touched my heart.  I responded with my number and he called almost immediately. We briefly chatted but reconnected that evening for a conversation that lasted until 3 AM.  April 22, 2023 was our first dinner date. As he said, very casual, nothing fancy.  In the weeks to come as we were learning one another, I realized that our circumstances may have been different but our pain was the same. I saw so much of myself in him.  Our connection was strong although we were very different… almost complete opposites. Ones weaknesses were the others strengths.  Our life together is not and will never be perfect, but we are perfect for each other. We Understand our past mistakes and failures, ...

Drinking my coffee from the front porch swing this morning, I opened my phone as I usually do to make sure I haven’t missed anything important going on in the world (insert a little sarcasm with truth, right there).  It’s a quiet, foggy morning with an occasional log truck going by. The birds chirping, my cats, playing at my feet, squirrels running across the yard… just very peaceful. As I looked down at my phone, I had somehow opened my photo albums and I was staring straight into my dad’s eyes. Those eyes. He had the most beautiful blue eyes. My eyes are blue, but not like my dad’s.  I stared at his picture for a moment, researching the outline of his face, every little wrinkle and gray stubble. The thinning of his hair, the thickening of his eyebrows, the color and rough texture of his skin. The shape of his mouth with his lips clamped tightly without his teeth. That Humphryes nose that he blessed us all with. His eyes; one round and one almond shaped, I definitely have his...

  Times change. Things change. People change.  Change is needed for growth; physical, mental and spiritual growth. I personally believe that change is good when it’s meant to be good. I also believe that some things will never change and that is also good. The world we live in today has changed significantly, from just a few years ago.  I have had to make many, many changes in my lifetime. There are some things about myself that I will never change. Ever. Physically , mentally and spiritually, will always be the same as far as my own, personal being is concerned. I will always be proud of being a Christian.  I will never be ashamed of being white. I believe there are only two genders. I believe marriage is meant for a man and a woman. I believe in and support the right to bear arms as they do save lives.  I believe America is great.  I do not believe freedom is free without the sacrifices of others. I do believe black lives matter. I believe blue lives matt...

  I recently took a road trip by myself to reconnect my spirit, clear my mind and focus on my blessings. I stayed at a little bed-and-breakfast inn at Dauphin Island. Nestled in a little corner lot on the bay, this place was quite cozy. Sectional sofas and a big screen TV arranged on a covered concrete patio along with picnic tables with umbrellas out in the sun. A deck on the upper level to overlook the beautiful grounds and the pier full of fishing boats. A fire pit, barbecue grills, tropical flowers and trees were the setting of the backyard which had a sidewalk leading to the pier and boat docks. In the area was a sea lab, walking and bird trails, a beautiful park and an RV campground. The secluded, private beach was especially relaxing and peaceful. Breakfast for everyone was at 8 AM; whatever you can imagine for breakfast is what was served. And boy did we eat. There were 16 of us guests having breakfast this particular morning. We introduced ourselves and swapped life storie...