The day finally came...

This blog is to introduce you to what my blogs will typically be about. Those things that have happened in my life that I have learned to live with or overcome.

This is it. This is what happened. This is how I feel. This is why I am who I am and why I do what I do. This is what I have struggled with. This is what I have overcome. This is raw and uncensored. This is me from the inside out no longer hiding my feelings or worried about what others might think or even say. This is as real as it gets and I am putting it in black-and-white.

I have been still and quiet but I have also been extremely loud. I have been overbearing but I have also been a gift. I have been lied to, cheated on and emotionally abused. I have been hurt, thrown away and physically abused. I have been physically and mentally ill with scars that will never fade. I also admit that I have caused and created some of the very same things that I suffered from.

This blog is not intended to hurt anyone’s feelings, although it might. This blog is not intended to make anyone angry, although it might. This blog is not intended for gossipers and hypocrites to have something else to talk about, although it might. What it is intended for is to validate my healing; the way I heal; the way I overcome and the way I forgive so I can love with all of my being and stay happy.

.... The day finally came when I was able to see myself as God sees me… I am worthy, I am beautiful, I am loved, I am forgiven, but most of all I am His!!

”For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Jeremiah 29:11

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The Proposal

Thursday, February 16, 2023, will be a night forever stuck in my head. It had been cold that day; the aches and pains of fibromyalgia and arthritis had been tormenting me all day. I couldn’t wait to get home and curl up in front of a fire and do nothing for the rest of the evening. Kevin, my boyfriend, had come by the shop to get his haircut that afternoon. He told me he bought me a new pistol because he didn’t like the one I had. It was an old Charter Arms .38. The trigger was a little stubborn, for sure and the site was certainly off. I consider myself to be a little “sideways“ most of the time anyways, so if the pistol was a little off, no big deal but good thing I never had to use it! I was just super impressed that he was concerned enough about me and my safety to even purchase something that significant for me. After all, we had only been dating just over 10 months. I arrived to his house about 6:30 PM. He greeted me and led me to the kitchen where my surprise awaited me. He was ...

The Message

April 20, 2023 I received a Facebook friend request from someone I haven’t seen in over 20 years. April 21, 2023 I received a message from him via Facebook messenger. It literally took my breath away. I sat down to read it over and over again. Just the kind words he wrote touched my heart. I responded with my number and he called almost immediately. We briefly chatted but reconnected that evening for a conversation that lasted until 3 AM. April 22, 2023 was our first dinner date. As he said, very casual, nothing fancy. In the weeks to come as we were learning one another, I realized that our circumstances may have been different but our pain was the same. I saw so much of myself in him. Our connection was strong although we were very different… almost complete opposites. Ones weaknesses were the others strengths. Our life together is not and will never be perfect, but we are perfect for each other. We Understand our past mistakes and failures, ...

The Best BFF Ever

In middle school I met a guy that would become the very best friend I ever had. Only I didn’t realize it at the time. Then, there I was … a middle-aged woman trapped in a “job“ where I was disrespected, unheard and unappreciated by my coworkers, manager and owners of the salon I worked for. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my career… I was just in the wrong place. You see, since 2001 I have always been self-employed and at one time I operated two salons with booth renters. In March 2020, one week before the COVID-19 pandemic hit, my salon, The Beauty Shop, burned to the ground. It was devastating. With no place to go once things opened back up from quarantine, I was hired at a local “walk in“ salon and was thankful and grateful for it. Most of my clients followed me there and I actually picked up several new ones. About nine months into my employment things started to change. It was quite obvious that the manager was very partial to the younger stylists there. They were al...

Boldly Unbroken

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