Boldly Unbroken

I was in labor 23 hours before my daughter was born on May 19, 1990. I blame it on the epidural and pain meds. It slowed my labor that had been progressing pretty quickly until then.  During her birth forceps were used which left bruising of her face and head. I felt horrible. She weighed 6 lbs. 15 oz. and her little diaper was bigger than she was. About two hours after birth I was allowed to feed her a bottle of water, since I wasn’t nursing. Then, they took her back to the nursery. She was so tiny. Like a baby doll.  Soon after, I was told that my newborn baby daughter was having some complications and would not be brought back to my room. I was terrified. I had to wait about six hours before I could see her again and my heart was breaking. When I did see her I broke down and cried. Her tiny little body had so many IV’s and tubes I nearly couldn’t handle it. She was under a light as well.    I was told she had MAS; Meconium Aspiration Syndrome. She had a bowe

I bought my own first car when I was 18 years old. From the time I was 15, I worked part time jobs after school and saved my money for three years. It seemed like it had been forever.  I purchased a car from my uncle for $2000. I sure was proud of that thing. It was used. It was orange. A stick shift. A Honda Civic hatchback or 3 door, as some would call it. It wasn’t fancy. The air did not work but the windows rolled down just fine. Dad had put an eight track tape player in it for me so I was excited about that.  Besides, it would get me from point A to point B and that’s all I really needed. I was absolutely tickled that I no longer had to have someone take me to work or borrow my parents car. I felt that I had “arrived” at my place in this world.  I remember one day backing out of the carport for work, I could not get the car to go forward… It would drive perfectly in reverse but I couldn’t get the thing to go forward to save my life. Dad was not home to help, but a

I know I have screwed up as a wife, a mother, a daughter and as a friend because I don't always say or do the "right things".  I have a smart mouth. I can be loud. I have secrets. I have scars because I have a history.  Some people love me, some don’t.    Most people    have an opinion of me. I have done good in my life. I have done bad in my life. I go without makeup in public. I wear ball caps and t-shirts. I don't dress up for the most part and sometimes I don’t even want to get dressed at all. I am random, outspoken and I can be silly. I will not pretend to be someone I am not. I am a fighter and will stand my ground for something I truly believe in or something I feel strongly about. I am broken to a point, but unbroken as I have healed from things that have caused me pain.  If I love you, I will do it with my whole heart, mind, soul and being because that’s just the way I love and the way I want to be loved back and I will make no

Just coming out of my first divorce in 1987,    I was struggling to make ends meet with my four-year-old son. I worked a full-time job, but still living day by day.  This is when I learned to become a “make a way, find a way“ kind of girl. A carnival had come to town and he was so excited. I honestly could not afford to take him after I paid my monthly bills, but he was such a good kid… very well mannered and obedient and he deserved to go. I worked at Winn-Dixie but I sold Tupperware on the side. I made about 25 telephone calls that week and managed to pick up enough cash to take him.  I had $20 to take my son to the carnival. That was just enough for an armband for the rides for him, a game or maybe two, and a corndog and a drink for his supper. I never told him where we were going the night I took him but as we pulled into the parking lot his entire face lit up with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. He giggled and danced a little silly dance that four-year