Boldly Unbroken

  You know that sinking feeling? The one where you emerge from a store, laden with bags (or, in my case, five sugar-fueled grandchildren), and you stare out at a sea of identical metal boxes, none of them yours? Yeah, that was my personal hell for years. My superpower, (one of them, at least), was forgetting where I parked the nanosecond I step away from my car. The true turning point, was quite a few years ago when my grandchildren forever cemented my reputation as "Nana Who Loses the Car," happened at Walmart. Imagine: five small humans, each with their own unique brand of post-shopping fatigue and a desperate need to pee, nap or eat, wandering aimlessly with me through acres of asphalt. We looked like a lost expedition, complete with complaints echoing off the distant fluorescent lights. "Nana, is it that one? No, that's not our white one!" "Are we ever going to find it?" The shame, people, the sheer, unadulterated shame. We eventually located my hu...

Thursday, February 16, 2023, will be a night forever stuck in my head. It had been cold that day; the aches and pains of fibromyalgia and arthritis had been tormenting me all day. I couldn’t wait to get home and curl up in front of a fire and do nothing for the rest of the evening. Kevin, my boyfriend, had come by the shop to get his haircut that afternoon. He told me he bought me a new pistol because he didn’t like the one I had. It was an old Charter Arms .38. The trigger was a little stubborn, for sure and the site was certainly off. I consider myself to be a little “sideways“ most of the time anyways, so if the pistol was a little off, no big deal but good thing I never had to use it! I was just super impressed that he was concerned enough about me and my safety to even purchase something that significant for me. After all, we had only been dating just over 10 months. I arrived to his house about 6:30 PM. He greeted me and led me to the kitchen where my surprise awaited me. He was ...

  April 20, 2023 I received a Facebook friend request from someone I haven’t seen in over 20 years.  April 21, 2023 I received a message from him via Facebook messenger. It literally took my breath away. I sat down to read it over and over again. Just the kind words he wrote touched my heart.  I responded with my number and he called almost immediately. We briefly chatted but reconnected that evening for a conversation that lasted until 3 AM.  April 22, 2023 was our first dinner date. As he said, very casual, nothing fancy.  In the weeks to come as we were learning one another, I realized that our circumstances may have been different but our pain was the same. I saw so much of myself in him.  Our connection was strong although we were very different… almost complete opposites. Ones weaknesses were the others strengths.  Our life together is not and will never be perfect, but we are perfect for each other. We Understand our past mistakes and failures, ...

Drinking my coffee from the front porch swing this morning, I opened my phone as I usually do to make sure I haven’t missed anything important going on in the world (insert a little sarcasm with truth, right there).  It’s a quiet, foggy morning with an occasional log truck going by. The birds chirping, my cats, playing at my feet, squirrels running across the yard… just very peaceful. As I looked down at my phone, I had somehow opened my photo albums and I was staring straight into my dad’s eyes. Those eyes. He had the most beautiful blue eyes. My eyes are blue, but not like my dad’s.  I stared at his picture for a moment, researching the outline of his face, every little wrinkle and gray stubble. The thinning of his hair, the thickening of his eyebrows, the color and rough texture of his skin. The shape of his mouth with his lips clamped tightly without his teeth. That Humphryes nose that he blessed us all with. His eyes; one round and one almond shaped, I definitely have his...

  Times change. Things change. People change.  Change is needed for growth; physical, mental and spiritual growth. I personally believe that change is good when it’s meant to be good. I also believe that some things will never change and that is also good. The world we live in today has changed significantly, from just a few years ago.  I have had to make many, many changes in my lifetime. There are some things about myself that I will never change. Ever. Physically , mentally and spiritually, will always be the same as far as my own, personal being is concerned. I will always be proud of being a Christian.  I will never be ashamed of being white. I believe there are only two genders. I believe marriage is meant for a man and a woman. I believe in and support the right to bear arms as they do save lives.  I believe America is great.  I do not believe freedom is free without the sacrifices of others. I do believe black lives matter. I believe blue lives matt...

  I recently took a road trip by myself to reconnect my spirit, clear my mind and focus on my blessings. I stayed at a little bed-and-breakfast inn at Dauphin Island. Nestled in a little corner lot on the bay, this place was quite cozy. Sectional sofas and a big screen TV arranged on a covered concrete patio along with picnic tables with umbrellas out in the sun. A deck on the upper level to overlook the beautiful grounds and the pier full of fishing boats. A fire pit, barbecue grills, tropical flowers and trees were the setting of the backyard which had a sidewalk leading to the pier and boat docks. In the area was a sea lab, walking and bird trails, a beautiful park and an RV campground. The secluded, private beach was especially relaxing and peaceful. Breakfast for everyone was at 8 AM; whatever you can imagine for breakfast is what was served. And boy did we eat. There were 16 of us guests having breakfast this particular morning. We introduced ourselves and swapped life storie...

  In middle school I met a guy that would become the very best friend I ever had. Only I didn’t realize it at the time.   Then, there I was … a middle-aged woman trapped in a “job“ where I was disrespected, unheard and unappreciated by my coworkers, manager and owners of the salon I worked for. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my career… I was just in the wrong place. You see, since 2001 I have always been self-employed and at one time I operated two salons with booth renters. In March 2020, one week before the COVID-19 pandemic hit, my salon, The Beauty Shop, burned to the ground. It was devastating.  With no place to go once things opened back up from quarantine, I was hired at a local “walk in“ salon and was thankful and grateful for it. Most of my clients followed me there and I actually picked up several new ones. About nine months into my employment things started to change. It was quite obvious that the manager was very partial to the younger stylists there. They were al...

  It’s Easter Sunday morning. A beautiful, beautiful day at that. I woke up a little extra early in the excitement of what today represents. Little did I know that Satan would be attacking me extra hard today. I made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth before showering when I realized I had no water. I have a well pump and I knew it had not been cold enough for a freeze so my first thought was to call Howard, my bonus dad, for his insight in troubleshooting the problem. But I couldn’t do that now. The Lord called him home just over two weeks ago.  I had accepted the loss of not having him with us… or so I thought. At that moment it hit me really hard. I will never see him again. I will never hear his voice again. I will never touch him again. I will never laugh with him again. Now, I was really beginning to grieve. I became angry and felt my blood pressure rising. I was angry because Satan was trying to destroy this day for me.  I paced the floors of my house. Out of...

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago and she said something that didn’t quite sit right with me. In a sentence or two she made the insinuation that I was “unhealthy“ or “sickly“. That’s certainly not the case at all.  At the same time there are many people, mostly family, that think that after cancer treatment my life went back to what it was before. That’s not the case, either. When someone doesn’t understand a certain disease though, I can see    why they would think the way they do.  I survived breast cancer in 2012. I am in remission. I take a maintenance therapy to make sure I stay in remission. I have three years left of that treatment. As a result of treatment however, there were side effects and conditions that changed me physically and emotionally that I have had to accept and make adjustments with. Nothing went back to “normal”.  There are certain things I do not eat anymore or that I’m careful with due to being estrogen receptor+. The strength in...

  Chocolate Ice Cream Cone... Mimi. That’s what I called my grandmother, my mama’s mama. God, I miss that woman. As little children, Mimi would sing to us all the time. There is one song in particular that has been sang from generation to generation in our family. Chocolate Ice Cream Cone.  It’s a cute song with a catchy little tune the kids always love. At every family gathering we would get her to sing it and we would all sing it with her or take turns singing it ourselves. I have grandchildren of my own, now and everyone of them can sing this song word for word. My grandchildren never knew their great, great grandmother personally, however; I feel that they have a connection to her through this song. As long as I am living, every grandchild, great grandchild and great,    great grandchild of mine will know this song if I have to teach it to them myself. It has become our family legacy. My mama said if I’d be good she’d send me to the store. She said she’d make som...